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I’ve had a bit of a relapse with the obsessive shopping thing. It’s only three weeks until we go away to Loch Ness, a huge body of water, ideal for sailing if you can avoid the monster. I want to sail! I looked all over the internet, but I can’t find anywhere that rents sailing boats. So I set to looking at buying a boat. I know, I know. *sigh* The thing with internet shopping is you start by saying ‘I want a cheap boat that I don’t mind crashing’, and read the reviews. And every single time they say “this is an adequate item, but what you want is *this* one, at ten times the price”. I was looking at the Laser. It’s relatively cheap because there have been so many made, and there are a lot for sale, second hand. It’s an adequate boat. It’s an old, basic design that it’s detractors say is painful for leaning out of the boat, and the mainsheet gets tangled on the transom. As I’ve already discovered. But you can learn on it and, if it’s cheap enough, not worry about getting the odd scratch. It will still do the basic boaty stuff. But what you *really* want is the RS Aero. The hull is ridiculously light (30 kilos as opposed to the 76 kilos of the Laser) it’s hull has rounded wings so you can lean out comfortably, the transom is open so if you capsize water just pours straight out, and it’s a lot faster. But it’s a premium boat and it’s only been in production for a few years so has a limited second hand market. The Lasers I was looking at range from £350 to £1,600. There is one, bare bones, Aero for £5,700 or £7,000 with the desirable sails, cover, and launching trolley. Then you have to think about my competence. And whether I’ll stick to it. And how gutted you’d be if you smashed a £7K boat into a rock. It would be like buying an Aston Martin to pass your test in. Damage limitation, then. I was messaging some guy about the £350 boat, but he was in Norfolk, and the final straw was when I asked about the sail size. There are 3 sizes, more sail is more power and suitable for heavier sailors. Obviously I want the biggest sail. Possibly two of them. The Norfolk guy had the smaller sails. I looked, and you need to buy a different mast, not just a larger sail to go full size. That would double the price of the boat. Then I found an obscure sale sight, Boats and Outboards, that had one for sale in Manchester, full sized sail, for £500. I went and had a look today and it seems fine and dandy. I looked up the Laser site to find the faults to look for, I couldn’t find any on this boat. You never know until you launch and sink, but it looks […]

After the first morning of my sailing training, and capsizing 5 times, things got a bit better. The second day there was hardly any wind, so we were basically practicing the drills in slo-mo. Then it got so becalmed we couldn’t even return to shore and the motorboat had to tow us back in. It was a very frustrating day, but it meant that when we got some decent wind on the third day I had an idea what I was doing. There were some full-on blasts that kept blowing up, so you had to lean right out of the boat to stop it getting blown over. Which also meant it felt like you were going really fast. I enjoyed that bit a lot. The thing is, when you are sailing away from the wind you want the sail out at 90 degrees to the boat, which means you have to let out a ton of the rope (mainsheet) that controls the sail. Then when you turn it around to sail towards the wind you have to pull the sail in tight. What kept happening with me was all that loose mainsheet kept getting caught around my transom (rear of boat). On several occasions this meant I was suddenly flying along, sail fully powered up, boat tipping over, with no way of letting the sail out. So seconds away from another capsize. Happily I’d learnt enough to throw the rudder over and steer fully into the wind to depower the sail. Then you have to lay over the boat and free the mainsheet, in doing so lose the tiller so the sail swings around again, duck under the boom, grab the tiller, and the mainsheet had caught on my transom again! AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH! I ended up spinning round twice, which is ducking under the boom 4 times, before I had a working mainsheet and tiller. This was while the boat was heeling over from side to side, trying to capsize. So that was fun. For anyone watching, at least. Once I’d finally regained control I was happy that I’d learnt enough not to have been swimming again, but it was a close call. I’ve passed the level 1 and 2 now, so I can rent the club Lasers on a Sunday (when there is motorboat rescue running) for a tenner a day. I’ve put my name down for one next Sunday, I’ll see how I get on. There was some interesting theory on sailing. I’ve always assumed a sail was a big sheet for catching the wind. Not so. On a dead run, with the sail at 90 degrees to the boat and flat to the wind, that is what it’s doing, but then you can only possibly go as fast as the wind. The genius of the sail design is it acts like a wing, so the air flowing over it creates “lift”, so you get the wind speed and the “lift” so you can actually sail faster than the […]

I’ve started at my sailing club. I went to help out on Sunday, just helping take boat times on the races and inputting the data into the computer. Today I did my first lesson. I think I was wise to take lessons. I capsized it 5 times in the morning session. The rudder is so sensitive! You push it a little bit and the boat goes everywhere. Not a problem in a straight line, but you have to tack upwind so you are swiveling around, while ducking under the swinging boom, and changing sides of the boat, then trying to steer with the tiller extension behind your back until you can swap hands. As with learning to drive anything, it’s a lot of things to be concentrating on at once. After the dinner break we went back out on a tougher course and I was fine. Once you’ve got the basics you can relax enough to see what is starting to go wrong and correct it. The good thing is I am now a master of the capsize drill for righting the boat. That bit holds no fear for me anymore. Also, due to DVLA being swamped and taking forever, I’ve not sold motorbike, so have had chance to ride it back and forth to the club twice. If you’re not all dolled-up in complete race leathers, just wanting to get your knee down, you can really enjoy that bike. I was in awkward kit, to which I’m not accustomed, trying for a maneuver I’ve never done, straight out of the box on an unfamiliar bike. In retrospect, I was setting myself up for a kicking and huge disappointment. Riding in familiar, comfortable kit, with somewhere to go, and pushing my limits incrementally, is brilliant fun. I *heart* my Triumph again! I’ve got over my shopping thing. Well, I’ve stopped doing it, which is not the same, really. I’ve bought some books, some seeds and we went to the garden centre yesterday so we got some flowers. That isn’t the problem. I actually use the obsessive searching, comparing, and hunting down the very best model for the very best price, as a fun hobby in itself. The purchase is where the fun ends, to a degree. I crave newness and change, shopping provides that, and kills many pointless hours. I can see that that is a problem now I’ve had my nose rubbed in it. I’ve got to buy some specific kit for this yachting lark (a top, some wetsuit material shoes with a grippy sole, and a buoyancy aid- I bought a lifejacket, not the same thing-) but I’m going to be in an out. See. Buy. In much the same vein, I’ve not looked at cars since the Damascus Google search on Obsessive Compulsive shopping. Or boats. Or anything. The bike is getting me to the club for now. Apparently the club rent boats out to noobs (£15 a day) when you’ve done the training. They encourage you […]

I’ve only just blogged but momentous things are afoot. Wendy was getting concerned about me obsessing over stuff, thinking it might be a problem. A few bikes ago when I first had my eye on the bike I’ve got now, I was losing sleep over it. I was waking up in the middle of the night and doing new searches on the 4 main bike sale sites to see if anything had come up. It was becoming that much of a problem that I had to think of ways to consciously de-escalate the obsessing. I had to list every fault with bike, how it was too expensive, totally impractical, how I didn’t need a new bike, etc etc, just to get some peace. Anyway, out of a mild curiosity, and to put Wendy’s mind at rest, I googled “obsessive, compulsive shopping” . Oh. Apart from not meeting my responsibilities, that’s me. Well, that’s just super. Nailed all of it. The conveyor belt of bikes, buying all the kit, losing interest, feeling guilty that I’ve bought stuff that I’m not using, the excitement of hunting for my next, life fulfilling, purchase that will be *the* one, the anticlimax on purchase, everything. And, it’s all just a manifestation of my BPD. I was in denial at first. Well, not so much in denial, the evidence is overwhelming, but I didn’t want to admit it because then I would have to do something about it. And I don’t want to stop. I sat on it for 24 hours, but then I told Wendy. It’s a joy-sucking, ironic, kick in the teeth. Most of my life I’ve been hand to mouth poor, since I started lorry driving (and gave up drinking, the two are definitely linked) we’ve been getting better off. With this new job, and the Brexit disaster ensuring plenty of work for lorry drivers, we are actually in a position where anything I’ve ever wanted I could have. It helps that my dreams are fairly modest. A really nice motorbike. That’s about it. But I could afford to sign a loan for £10,000 tomorrow and not even think about it. But I’ve kind of lost interest in biking with having nowhere to go. And now this. I can make money, but I can’t spend it. Anyway. I’m feeding and re-enforcing a mentally damaging addiction-esque condition. A sneaky variation of my usual BPD. It has to stop. I’ve not done an internet search for bikes, cars or boats for the last two days. My thinking is “buy what I need (nothing), not what I want (everything). It sucks. I’m second guessing myself before I’ve even started. If I like my lessons in just over a week, and want a boat, is it to sail or just to buy? Will I need a car to move it about or do I just want to spend money? I think, if I am doing the boating thing, a car, with a towing hitch, is the way […]

Things are sort of moving apace in my new madness. I keep making progress only to have to stop again. I was supposed to be going to pick up my new boat today. I was all excited. I’ve bought a book on how to sail, and read it a few times. I’ve also watched a really good video on the basics. How to start, steer and stop. I was wondering about the last of them, as there are no brakes. It turns out it was the same as the other thing I was worrying about, going overboard and the ship charging off into the distance. Apparently it’s the sailor holding the sail to the wind that powers it. As soon as you let go of the mainsheet (get me! That’s the bit of rope that pulls the sail around) the sail swings around like a weather vane, so it’s no longer catching the wind and powering the boat. I was pretty confident I could at least do some basic sailing. I’ve applied to two local yachting places for lessons. One of them, Pickmere Lake club, got back to me. The first thing they said was not to buy a Topper (the little boat, slightly more that a surfboard with a sail, I was supposed to be getting today) as they are built for teenagers. You have to be small to fit under the boom (the bottom bar of the sail) and lightweight. I might get away with the height, and I am quite limber, but unfortunately I am too blubbered up. The good news though, is that the club are running level 1 and 2 courses in a fortnight! I’ve had to join to be able to take the lessons, but that will take me from ‘complete lubber’ to ‘lubber with delusions of adequacy’. They also gave the good advice to join the club, try out some boats, see what suits, and then buy one. Assuming I like it. I had one go at parachuting and never went back. I’m fairly confident I will like it. It sounds a hoot. Anyway, assuming I do, and I get a boat, the good thing about the club is you get berthing for one boat included in your membership. And, if I get a hefty one, for a further £31 a year I can stash a boat trailer there. It’s a fairly big lake and you can get an access card so you can sail whenever you feel like. This is good. I was envisioning trips to Liverpool for sea sailing. I don’t have to worry about lugging the boat about, unless we go on holiday or whatever, and I’ve got a safe place to sail. They do races there one day a week, mainly to improve your sailing skills they say. Now I just need to buy a cravat. Yachting club. Me. Who’d have thought? A sub-obsession, relating to the main boating one, was a sudden need to buy a car to […]